-
Why I Love My Office: 2012 Edition
Me: [Filthy thing I’ve already forgotten.] That’s what she said.
Brandon: That’s disgusting, you should be fired.
Me: I know. I can’t believe that came out of my mouth.
Me & Brandon, in unison: That’s what she said. -
Pretty Sneaky, Sis: You Sunk My Plot Device
Eric: I just watched the ‘Battleship’ trailer.
Me: So bad, right?
Eric: I do like that they captured the romance of the game. And the aliens.
Me: It lacks the racial subtext of Connect Four, but I guess it’s OK. -
My Life Coach
Me: I need to get a new name, move to Wyoming and change so fundamentally that I can’t possibly reenact the same dramas with new people.
Adam: You could get new glasses. That works in the movies. -
I’m a dick.
ME: http://xkcd.com/875/
YOU: I’ve seen that one. :)
ME: I saw Ben Folds when he still played to crowds of 30. So?
YOU: Touche. -
Micromanaging
Adam: I hereby forbid you from [behavior redacted].
Me: Thank you. I need that. You have to enforce it by stabbing me.
Adam: I have a knife, and everything.
Me: Perfect. Don't be afraid to really get in there, either.
Adam: Don't try to tell me how to stab.
-
Our friendship hangs by a golden thread.
Lauren: WINNER WINNER BACHELOR DINNER
Me: I love and hate you with all my heart.
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I <3 NY
Lauren: Remember when you got clawed by a homeless man who meowed?
Me: Remember that?
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Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Therapy
Me:
I have an Inferi complex. I am corpses controlled by dark magic.
Adam:
No, only your complex is.
Me:
Ok, I am concerned about being corpses controlled by dark magic.
Adam:
Yes, well. Who isn't?
Me:
Touche.
-
IM of the Day
Brooke: What kind of asshole do you take me for?
Adam: Well, THAT’S a loaded question. -
Wherefoursquare art thou (at all times)?
Details have been changed to protect the innocent.
Brooke*: I can’t believe you use foursquare now. It’s like I don’t even know you.
Blaine**: Hahahaha. That’s exactly what my ex said.
[pause]
Blaine: Not about foursquare, though.
* My real name
** Not his real name
